I Need to Know that you Believe in my Kid

I just need to know that you believe in my kid. I am having a conversation with a professional I have hired to support one of my children, and at some point in our dialogue that’s what I realize. No contacts you have, no resources available to you, no reduced fee, and no amount of overtime matter to me, unless I have faith that you believe in my kid’s potential to flourish. I need you to feel it in your soul. I need you to know it as I know it, and visualize it as I visualize it. If you don’t honestly believe in what you’re doing, no amount of advocacy on behalf of this cause is going to be successful.

It is a challenging conversation we are having and it is becoming clear to me that this is my deal breaker. My partner on the other end is surprised at the turn in the conversation. He is telling me all that he has done, can do, and plans to do to support and advocate for my child. He is also telling me a lot of things that can go wrong, when I stop him mid-sentence.  I desperately feel his mindset has to change for there to be any hope in gaining our desired results. The actions aren’t enough for me. It is the intention I need to know.  I have one question I need answered. “Do you honestly believe my child will thrive?”

He stammers, takes a few seconds, and then reflects on his faith in my child. I feel the power in what he hears himself say and feel inspired by how that power changes his actions. His strategy includes presenting a complicated scenario to a contact he has, on behalf of my child; we are not guaranteed we will receive the answer we need to hear. Before I wondered about his faith in my child, he explained his plan to call this contact the next day.  However, after confirming aloud his belief in my child’s success, he changes course and immediately drives to the contact’s place of business, advocating passionately, face-to-face. The effectiveness of his newfound passion surprises even himself (and thrills me.)

I notice in a conversation that we have the following week, as he self-corrects a thought to re-emphasize that he believes in my child’s ultimate success. I, of course, cannot know what he truly feels. But I do know the power in words and the power in intention. And if he keeps reminding himself that he believes that my child will prosper, then that is the energy that he is putting out on behalf of this child. And that is most powerful.

And something that I practice daily. Last Monday I come off of one of the hardest weeks I’ve had in many months. I wake up and say to myself, “Enough.” I don’t like feeling this sad, stressed, and upset, and I am not going to do it anymore. I did need a couple of days to live within the difficulties, but now it’s time to move on. I make a conscious decision to fake it ’til I make it. I start listing anything I can that’s going right in my life. I sit with a fake smile on my face for a full minute, tricking myself into thinking I have a reason to smile. It starts to work a little.

I make a decision to ignore what’s personally stressing me out when I get to work, and instead act like it’s a day when all’s been easy. I picture myself accessing some of the inner joy I have stored in my soul, and painting the outside of my body with it. I smile at everyone I see, joke a little, and turn my attitude around. Because I’m consciously trying out new thoughts that I’d have if all was joyful in my life, my emotions follow my thoughts, and I actually start feeling happier. As I’m feeling happier, my actions reflect these emotions, and my decisions and conversations go well. So I start naturally having even more positive thoughts. I can sense the inner joy that I imagined painting on my skin, start to authentically seep into my pores. And then I get a bounce in my step, a real smile on my face, and the ability to handle the complications in a much more effective way. It is a true cycle. And it works.

It also does take practice.  It starts with the intention to respond to life in the way that will bring you the most joy. At first it feels silly and hokey. But when you voice your intention out loud, you make it happen. All that is required is the belief that you have the power to guide your thoughts and determine your mood. And the amazing results of doing this are that your actions will change depending on your mood, and you’ll receive more of what you’re hoping from life, just by believing it’s there for you.

Our intentions are powerful. If we believe in something wholeheartedly, we are going to make it happen. If we have faith in someone’s success, we are going to be able to help them blossom. The hardest thing, for most people, is believing in ourselves, having the faith that we will thrive, no matter what we’re currently experiencing, and believing that we can have the life we desire. If we know that we don’t have to be at the effect of life, then we become empowered as the architects who custom design our own lives, and create our ideal experiences.

I ask You –

Do you truly believe in yourself?

(I do and I’m here to help)

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