Living with my Greatest Fear

Two celebrities committed suicide this week. People are posting suicide hotline numbers alongside advice for getting help for yourself or for helping others. I “like” each one of these posts. Sometimes I even “love” them. I have deep conversations with friends about the importance of removing the stigma around depression. I share confidently my opinion […]

The Old and New Collide Everywhere I Go

My baby’s first university visit. My own alma mater. The old and the new collide everywhere we go. As my college self and my current self hold hands, I am enjoying new experiences with my daughter – everything about this is a ‘first’ for her. My college memories are trailing me like a shadow; in some […]

I Need to Know that you Believe in my Kid

I just need to know that you believe in my kid. I am having a conversation with a professional I have hired to support one of my children, and at some point in our dialogue that’s what I realize. No contacts you have, no resources available to you, no reduced fee, and no amount of […]

The Honor is Mine

Friday was a very challenging day for my children. The kind of day where you wish you could trade places with your children because their pain is so great. The kind of pain where you’re not quite sure what to say to ease the burden and you pray for guidance. That was the day that […]

They’re completely familiar and foreign to me.

They are part of me, are of my body and soul, and closer to me than anyone on earth. And yet, at times they are also foreign to me, living a life and in a land that is completely unfamiliar. That’s not how I thought it would be. When I was imagining having kids, I […]

Surprised by Violent Pride as my Values Collide

If you ask me what one of my worst realistic fears is, I will tell you that it is for the safety of my 20 year old daughter, who is transgender. The statistics of violence against transpeople is staggering, and even higher for transwomen. Each year, on the Transgender Day of Remembrance, we read the […]

Teaching Her to Drive Away

Sometimes being a single mom feels like a burden. And sometimes it’s a gift. Teaching my youngest daughter to drive has felt like both. She passes her driving permit test on her birthday, the last day of May, a day that we have both been eagerly awaiting. This is going to be great! This is […]

Proud with a Heavy Heart

Have you ever had an experience where you were elated and heartbroken at the same time? Proud, with a heavy heart? I did recently, at a workshop called Chronic Illness and Gender Confirmation Surgery. I’m going to guess that you have not attended a session about this topic. Neither had I until last weekend. This was […]

Reality TV or My Reality?

On a regular basis, I am the recipient of information that has anything to do with the topic of transgender people. Friends forward articles to me. People invite me to movie screenings and plays. Others assume that I am a regular viewer of any TV special or show that is about being trans. I feel […]

Seizures and Serenity

It is amazingly powerful to hear your son tell you that even with all the recent hardships he’s experienced, that today he is thankful. I am visiting Z for a few days and we are sitting on the beach relaxing and chatting. He tells me that he is in such a better place than he […]