Maybe I won’t write a blog post this week. After all, I’ve written 20 posts in that many weeks and I’m thinking that I don’t have anything more to say right now. I can use the Labor Day theme as my excuse for taking a week off. It’s likely no one will even notice. Now that work at my school is beginning up again, maybe I should change my blogging schedule to monthly. Weekly may be unrealistic. Or, would it be okay to just write when I actually have something I’d really like to share, without worrying about a consistent time frame? Is writing this blog a goal, a passion, or an obligation?
I have a lot of goals that I’ve set for myself this past year. The goal that’s my priority right now is to keep balance in my life. I want to balance work, play, passions, relationships, and obligations in a manageable way. And I want to choose which of my obligations are meaningful for me. I aim to feel daily inner joy, intellectual stimulation, emotional fulfillment, while making sure I’ve included time for rejuvenation and relaxation. Easy, right?
I also have a lot of other specific, concrete goals. Things that have felt essential for me to do as I climb toward higher aspirations. This week I wondered if it would be okay to consciously shift some of these intentions and to follow a different path. One that curves around the mountain a little more instead of going up a steep incline. I’ve realized that as life happens to me I would like to make room for unanticipated things that I am really enjoying, and some new fun interests that I’d like to explore. But I don’t have time for all of it and I want to be true to my need for balance.
All of this means that I’ll have to give less time to some initiatives that I originally thought were so important for me to be doing. “Is that okay?” I asked my life coach this week. “Should I stick to the original plan because it was so well thought-out and seems to give me the foundation for the future I want? Should I continue to prioritize growing one part of my life, even though my heart is telling me that it might be fun to explore another part of my life?”
And the answer I received was, “There are no Shoulds.” Truth. This has been one of the stickiest limiting beliefs for me to let go of in my life. I am trying really hard to embrace that there are no universal Shoulds.
I am going to write a new rule-book for my life. And in it, the Shoulds will be, “Diana, you should do what gives you joy. You should follow your intuition. You should hear your own voice more loudly than society’s voice. You should be free to grow and change as you experience and learn, without feeling limited. You should honor this same freedom in other people so that you don’t judge what they’ve decided are their personal Shoulds.”
This is very freeing. And now I come back to, “What would happen if I skipped writing my blog post this week?” What type of a priority is blogging to me? Would I be reneging on the commitment I made to myself? What commitment did I even make? Oh yeah, it was to try blogging and to see how it felt to me, how it was received, and if I was a ‘good enough’ writer. I’d say I’ve kept that commitment.
So, what is blogging fulfilling for me? I have discovered through this exercise that I love writing in a way I never expected. I really do. And even more than I love writing, I feel a true sense of purpose when people share with me what a post has meant to them. If I could affect one person by my post, then I am personally fulfilled, as well. In the past week, three people have shared with me that they felt that I was speaking directly to them through my posts.
And I responded, ” I am speaking to you.” Because we are all connected. We all share so many similar thoughts, vulnerabilities, challenges, and cravings. But, because we fear judgment so much, most of us rarely share these innermost doubts or desires; we’re left feeling that we’re the only ones. One of the greatest gifts to me is when someone cracks open their shell to let me know that they feel the same way as I do. Something I’ve written has been helping them process their own thoughts. This certainly has helped me know that even though I’m baring some of my most private reflections, that I’m not the only one who wonders about these things. This connection is so deeply meaningful for me, that I choose to continue making writing this blog a priority.
Another priority is for me to live authentically, being true to myself. And my core craves having balance in my life. I commit to myself that if writing a post one week becomes burdensome, then I’m going to easily skip that week, without worry. Because the only constant is change. And as I change, it is okay for my priorities to change. I encourage my coaching clients to feel confident doing the same thing. We always have choices and we should never feel stuck.
How do you balance your goals, passions and obligations? Do you give yourself permission to reprioritize on a regular basis? What would happen if you tweaked the course that you’re on? I’ll let you know how it works out for me!